Bowing your head when you cannot hold it up.....

 You ever wake up and not only mentally but physically feel like you cannot lift your head at all?

These days lately feel like I cannot even keep my head up let alone focus and move forward with all the things that the day brings in front of me to address.

I am reminded today of Luke 18:1 where Jesus told the disciples a story that shared their need to continuous prayer and for them to keep seeking the Lord in prayer until the answer came. 

I am thinking this is where I am today in my zombie like state again as I simply move through the motions almost on an autopilot just to keep functioning instead of sinking beneath my covers and shutting out the world. 

As I pray and seeking the Lord today with trust in him I am reminded that I CAN TRUST HIM WHEN I CAN TRUST NO ONE ELSE AND THAT HIS TIMING IS PERFECT EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IT IS NOT.

Thank you Lord for never leaving me or forsaking me. I trust you Lord with this day and all the things in my path that I do not understand I trust your plan is perfect as I move through this day and the days to come. 

My momma always has said to call on Jesus because He is the only help she knows and boy isn't that the truth!!!

I pray today if you come across this that you too will seek the Lord and find comfort in his presence in the day to day difficult moments in your own life and that you TRUST HIM IN ALL THINGS!

When the weight is too heavy to bear.....

When I wake in the morning 

The weight too much to bear

You OH LORD are my strength

Today as I got out of the bed I wanted to crawl back into a hole and never return

I want to disappear sometimes and fade into the quiet moments

I feel as though my soul longs for comfort 

But there is no peace or comfort to be found

I look to you OH LORD

Be my refuge God

Be my comfort 

Like a shelter locked up tight and safe in a massive storm

Lord please surround me today

Guard and protect me and lift me up 

You know all that I need to handle Lord

All I need to accomplish

Help me to put my perspective in you Lord

My thoughts consistently on you. 

All the things (literally) stacked against me

For me to handle

For me to act on

Lord give me the strength

Calm my anxiety Lord 

Help me to find peace and comfort that only comes from you. 

This I pray today.

Ramblings of the Heart

 I said this was my quote for the last year and it seems to continue into this one...."I just don't understand."

I know that perhaps I will never fully know why or what in the world happened since I have been forced to navigate a situation with someone that chooses to shut out and off instead of fully feel from within but it still haunts me, keeps me awake at night and soaking my pillow in tears. 

There is something about "RENT FREE NOISE LIVING FREELY IN MY HEAD," like the song The Truth from Megan Woods says, and I saw a powerful devotion this morning that listed the lyrics of that song and gave scripture addressing those passages she sings.

RENT FREE NOISE LIVING FREELY IN MY HEAD

Philippians 4:6 KJV "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."

2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."

I KNOW THE LIES ARE ALWAYS GONNA TRY & FIND ME BY I'VE NEVER BEEN SO SURE

James 4:7-8 KJV "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw high to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."

Hebrews 13:5-6 KJV "Let your conversations be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me."

Just these words so comforted my weary soul this morning.... I pray as the day moves on and I continue to go to the Lord in prayer I will feel his presence with me.

Yet I Try

 I woke late

I try

Body aches, hard to breathe

I keep trying

The teen will not wake

No sense of urgency to help me 

I try

I really want to tap out

But I try

I attempt to recruit his dad to help

No answer

The teen moves slow so perhaps I will leave him here

My anger is mounting

I try

I have to speak firm, harsh even and discipline him

I then start the car and realize power steering fluid is again needed

I hurt as I lift the hood

The teen sits and watches me from the car emotionless without concern

I keep trying

Lord help me as I continue to TRY ALL DAY!